There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
