Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
