I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
