I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize