what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
