I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
