Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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