I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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