somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
