So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
