I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
two words: eviction party
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
