I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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