i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
