I'm eating all of the evidence.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
