hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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