I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
