me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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