Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
