I could have mohawked her pubes.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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