Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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