So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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