I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
