Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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