Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
