Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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