I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
