I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
