Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
wow bdsm is so cute
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
