Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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