the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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