"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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