...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So much rum. So many feels.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
