Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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