Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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