....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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