WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
