What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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