Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
false alarm. still invincible.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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