i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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