i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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