There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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