I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
