have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
