woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
