Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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