what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
