im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We have started to decorate penises.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
