TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i believe in u and ur pee
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
