I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize