Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
