He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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