yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
