Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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