I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
