thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
