Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
