Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
