it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize